Nathan Ben Warshaw memorial (by Harvey and Marguerite Warshaw, his family, and friends)
Nathan Warshaw was a sickly baby, who at the age of two was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disease that leads to early death. The Pulmonologist told us that Nathan had full CF involvement, and had a 50/50 chance of making it to ten. If he lived into his teens, he would be very slight and short. Nate grew to be 6 feet tall and died in his twenties.
Marguerite and I wanted Nathan to have a quality life – not spent tethered to Oxygen or in a wheel chair – so Nathan learned to do it all. He played a jazz saxophone, a real accomplishment for an individual with limited lung capacity. At the age of three he ran track in Maryland, – he played organized soccer in Hawaii, where after every game and practice all players ran a lap around the field – Nate had CF lungs, but he ran – always last, always finishing. In Colorado Nate learned judo and to swim at the YMCA – he swam on their teams – I think once he even placed fourth, he finished. He always finished. He never quit.
Nate, more than anything was a hard worker. At the age of 14 he started working at a kennel every day after school and on weekends. He cleaned out cages, and helped the trainer with his chores at night. His doctors did not approve of his after school job – ‘cleaning dog cages’, so he was told to quit – and he did, but not to go into early retirement. At the age of fifteen, he started working at a restaurant first busing tables, then in the kitchen. That turned out to be one of the turning points in his life.
The kitchen became his love – not just a job, a true labor of love. One day, I guess he was around 18, Nate woke up and took an “Adult Pill” – and from that day forward – he really flew. \We were living in the DC area, Nathan announced to Mom and me that he wanted to get serious about a career and would become a chef. He enrolled in the American Culinary Federation Chefs Apprenticeship Program (ACF-CAP), at the Community College – there he was, fighting CF, going to school full time, working full time as an apprentice – all to become a chef. And, by the way, as some of my industry and military friends can attest – Nate loved to experiment as a Gourmet. If he were available when our friends were in town – Nate would cook from scratch experimenting on customers who were most critical.
Nate began the chefs program as an apprentice – number 65 of 65 in the kitchen of a four star resort. By the end of the first year he had been promoted into management as the Assistant Souse Chef, after a “black-box competition” – not to shabby for an apprentice competing against CIA and Johnson and Whales graduates. Nate was also selected to be a member of the first apprentice culinary competition team from the DC Chapter of the ACF. That team came in 2nd at regionals, after being thrown together only a few months earlier.
Still going to school, at the beginning of his third semester, sitting in his first history class, the instructor came to class, extremely ill – Nate, although having had a flu shot, caught the teacher’s bug. His life began to spiral downward. Hospitalizations became more frequent, and longer. Mom quit her job and provided 24X7 nursing care – his lung capacity continued to drop – weight could not be maintained. Nate continued to fight – yes he did – doing whatever the Doctors suggested, without complaint – he wanted to live, he wanted to get back to being a Chef.
Nate was dying a slow death – the doctors continued to fight for Nate, but it became apparent that CF was winning. The offer was made, Nate’s choice – a comfortable death – or, a potential CF cure by receiving a double lung transplant. Not even a question for my son – he always chose life – but this was easier said than done. All transplant centers contacted turned Nathan down, site unseen, until The University of North Carolina was called. The Transplant Coordinator invited us down and the Doctor’s evaluated this very brave and industrious young man – the man with the will to live. Wonders of wonders, he made the list.
Nate loved Chapel Hill, NC – and how he trusted in the UNC CF and transplant teams – they were helping him stay alive. And help they did – Nate, weakened by CF, the flu and the move, was hospitalized for 43 days. Nate got better, but only slightly – he was released to home care as was the usual routine – and within 48 hours, he received the magic call – it was from the UNC transplant team – do you want lungs?
Nate was so excited – he was going for the cure. No dry run for Nate. The operation was flawless – and for more than a month Nathan experienced life like we had never seen. He worked out every day, he couldn’t pass a restaurant without stopping to eat, shopping with Mom became something to behold – he flew – he soared, he went from 114 to 140 lbs. Making plans for the future, Nate decided he would take the first year off to strengthen his body – then he would return to college for a degree. He picked out the car he would buy when everything settled down – I think it was an old Mercedes convertible – He was reading four books covering varying topics from fantasy to religion. As one of Nathan’s friends said to me “This was an absolutely wonderful and hope filled time for Nathan. He even drove – I hope he sped.”
One day, while on an extended business trip to Dallas, I got the call that would change everything. Nate developed a fever and was hospitalized. I really didn’t think that much about it, how many times have we played this scenario? This time, he didn’t get better.
The folks at UNC provided Nate the best medical care I have ever witnessed. I honor them, and all the medics who cared for Nathan through the years. I am eternally in their debt. Nate, slipped into a comma. Mom knew it was Nathan’s time to die, asking that all extraordinary measures be stopped, and that he be returned to a natural state, without the ventilator, monitors and IVs. Nathan was to die with dignity, like he lived. With the Chaplain praying…"Yeah, though I walk"…Nathan’s Mom and best friend, held her baby in her arms while he slowly died. It was the saddest yet most beautiful moment I have ever witnessed. I believe that Nathan now walks without pain, without suffering – and we will join our son at the appropriate time. I still remain in awe of our son Nathan, the man with the will to live.
Why the scholarship fund at OCC? Well, it really is simple – I received my start at OCC. My Associates Degree from OCC allowed me to launch a military career, complete my Bachelors and Masters Degrees, and eventually become a successful businessman. It all started at OCC.
Marguerite and I hope that the Nathan Warshaw Scholarship Fund will help deserving students with a love of the culinary arts to continue to enhance their skills through this excellent Community College. – Harvey S. Warshaw